By Monique Craine... qualified and accredited hypnotherapist
I specialise in neuro diverse differences like:
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD/ADD), Autism Spectrum Disorder/Asperger’s Syndrome, Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD)/Dyspraxia, Dyslexia, Dyscalculia, Tourette’s Syndrome... and more
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD/ADD), Autism Spectrum Disorder/Asperger’s Syndrome, Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD)/Dyspraxia, Dyslexia, Dyscalculia, Tourette’s Syndrome... and more
Why We All Need To Learn To Relax
I used to think I could relax, that I could chill out to music or relax in front of the television but the truth was that I didn’t actually know how to relax. No matter how still I managed to get my body, my brain never seemed to switch off. This seriously affected my ability to function as I felt stressed pretty much all the time. Even during my sleep I would wake up suddenly after having night terrors, my mind racing and not able to get back to sleep, or I would just wake up suddenly thinking about something I was meant to have done and had forgotten, like turning off the oven.
Being in a pretty much perpetually stressed state meant that I struggled to access my exectutive functioning. I would respond to most new stimuli with a fight or flight response and it felt as though the pressure would eventually cause me to collapse! I was 40 before I actually learned how to relax and I have certainly never looked back!
Being in a pretty much perpetually stressed state meant that I struggled to access my exectutive functioning. I would respond to most new stimuli with a fight or flight response and it felt as though the pressure would eventually cause me to collapse! I was 40 before I actually learned how to relax and I have certainly never looked back!
Why Did I Learn To Relax
I really had no choice really, the stress and anxiety were ruining my life. I am neuro-diverse which means I have a number of neurological developmental diagnoses like DCD/dyspraxia, dyslexia and Autism Spectrum Differences. As the world I live and interact with is not made for people with my differences I suffered with a lot of stress and anxiety issues brought on by how my difficulties were perceived by others, I also have Joint Hyper Mobility Syndrome and my joint pains had become increasingly worse over the years and it felt like my muscles were permanently knotted.
I tried everything from seeing the GP and taking medication, to doing meditation and Yoga but nothing seemed to be able to stop me from getting distracted by stressful thoughts, often to the point where I’d forget I was even meant to be relaxing. So for me it was essential that I learn how to relax. I eventually had to study Hypnotherapy in order to learn the theory behind relaxation. I then adapted what I had learned to suit my neuro-diverse nature and started putting the theory into practice.
Fortunately for me one of my first modules on the hypnotherapy course was on the role of relaxation. Through this I was able to confirm what I already believed. That it was impossible to be stressed and relaxed at the same time, that just 5 minutes of targeted relaxation each day could lead to improved sleep, it could reduce muscular and/or chronic pain, could even help ND people like me access our executive functioning easier in order to make better thought through decisions. Best of all for those who know what their triggers are – it could even be used to prevent melt-downs.
I tried everything from seeing the GP and taking medication, to doing meditation and Yoga but nothing seemed to be able to stop me from getting distracted by stressful thoughts, often to the point where I’d forget I was even meant to be relaxing. So for me it was essential that I learn how to relax. I eventually had to study Hypnotherapy in order to learn the theory behind relaxation. I then adapted what I had learned to suit my neuro-diverse nature and started putting the theory into practice.
Fortunately for me one of my first modules on the hypnotherapy course was on the role of relaxation. Through this I was able to confirm what I already believed. That it was impossible to be stressed and relaxed at the same time, that just 5 minutes of targeted relaxation each day could lead to improved sleep, it could reduce muscular and/or chronic pain, could even help ND people like me access our executive functioning easier in order to make better thought through decisions. Best of all for those who know what their triggers are – it could even be used to prevent melt-downs.
Was Relaxation Easy To Learn?
The theory was very easy to learn as it all seemed pretty logical. If our mind is always racing in random directions and we never relax it, then either we will never be in harmony with our bodies or our bodies will end up feeling like we have been through the trenches. So the theory was easy but unfortunately, the practice was not so straight forward for me!
I knew exactly how to use the very effective Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) technique commonly used in hypnotherapy and as I practiced on my hypnotherapy test subjects I could see that they all seemed to be reaching a very deep state of relaxation, there were changes in the breathing pattern, their skin colour and other signs I could see which were clear indications of deep relaxation. All the test subjects claimed to benefit immensely from the PMR exercise on its own, but I still couldn’t master performing it on myself at home.
I knew exactly how to use the very effective Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) technique commonly used in hypnotherapy and as I practiced on my hypnotherapy test subjects I could see that they all seemed to be reaching a very deep state of relaxation, there were changes in the breathing pattern, their skin colour and other signs I could see which were clear indications of deep relaxation. All the test subjects claimed to benefit immensely from the PMR exercise on its own, but I still couldn’t master performing it on myself at home.
Relaxation Of Any Sort Is Beneficial
I would have to cheat to try and achieve the same results at home purely because I couldn’t get my mind to focus on one thing at a time, or to stay on track without getting horribly distracted. So instead I would play a game on my iPad called magic piano, I would pick songs that relaxed me and then I would concentrate on my fingers hitting the notes as they fell down the screen until I could get the tune sounding right. Although this didn’t have the same effect as the guided relaxation exercises did I would use this technique to stop my mind racing as playing the magic piano would get me into a natural trance state which is also preferable to an unproductive stressed state.
Was It Just Me?
I always thought that the problem was unique to me, that I just didn’t have the strength of mind to stay focused on one topic at a time. It wasn’t until I started coaching other neuro-diverse clients that I realised that they all seemed to have the same issue as me.
They all claimed to really LOVE the exercise, claiming they had been in less pain, had got better night’s sleep, had been in a better mental state to make decisions and so on. The problem here is that my time is not cheap. My coaching sessions cost £45 per session and I like my clients to set targets for what they will achieve by the next session so I know they are stepping onto the right path for them and not procrastinating. So although it was a great compliment that every single client wanted to do my relaxation class two or three times to help them gain the skills to relax, it soon occurred to me that they were going to hit the same problem as me. It is quite common for my clients to present with poor working memory and problems focussing their thoughts so I refused to run multiple relaxation sessions for them as their time would be better identifying the right path for them. In the meantime I would work out how to provide them with the lesson at a reduced rate. The truth is that my clients all needed to be able to use relaxation techniques as a coping mechanism because the benefits relaxation could give them, could be the key to being able to unlock their true potential, so the truth is that it is an essential skill.
They all claimed to really LOVE the exercise, claiming they had been in less pain, had got better night’s sleep, had been in a better mental state to make decisions and so on. The problem here is that my time is not cheap. My coaching sessions cost £45 per session and I like my clients to set targets for what they will achieve by the next session so I know they are stepping onto the right path for them and not procrastinating. So although it was a great compliment that every single client wanted to do my relaxation class two or three times to help them gain the skills to relax, it soon occurred to me that they were going to hit the same problem as me. It is quite common for my clients to present with poor working memory and problems focussing their thoughts so I refused to run multiple relaxation sessions for them as their time would be better identifying the right path for them. In the meantime I would work out how to provide them with the lesson at a reduced rate. The truth is that my clients all needed to be able to use relaxation techniques as a coping mechanism because the benefits relaxation could give them, could be the key to being able to unlock their true potential, so the truth is that it is an essential skill.
Finding A Cheaper Alternative
If I was charging the same rate for re-run sessions then I would be ripping off the clients. The reason my sessions cost as much as they do is because of the amount of time I have to work behind the scenes, in identifying strategies, helping clients monitor their progress and because they are mainly ND clients, I need extra time to adapt strategies to suit their ND natures. It would be wrong of me to charge that much and if the clients needed to come back over and over it would also soak up time I could be spending with other clients. So I decided to put my ‘learn to relax’ script onto a CD for my clients so that after their initial ‘relaxation session’ they would be able to benefit from the CD immediately.
I firstly used a Dictaphone, but the sound quality was appalling, even I couldn’t relax to that. I then tried using some software on my computer, but again the sound quality really wasn’t any better. Although my clients were telling me they would use it no matter what it was like, I still had standards, and I knew that if I couldn’t relax to it, then they would probably struggle too.
In the end I hired a recording studio that professionally edited and produced the CD for me. They designed the Artwork for the CD and even put me in touch with a company who could professionally duplicate the CD so that it is of professional quality. Of course that worked out much more expensive than buying a stack of CDs and burning copies, but I wanted my CD to be relaxing in every way and having used burned CDs before I know how poor the quality becomes after constant use. I wanted my clients to be able to use the CD until they had taught themselves how to use the technique unaided.
I firstly used a Dictaphone, but the sound quality was appalling, even I couldn’t relax to that. I then tried using some software on my computer, but again the sound quality really wasn’t any better. Although my clients were telling me they would use it no matter what it was like, I still had standards, and I knew that if I couldn’t relax to it, then they would probably struggle too.
In the end I hired a recording studio that professionally edited and produced the CD for me. They designed the Artwork for the CD and even put me in touch with a company who could professionally duplicate the CD so that it is of professional quality. Of course that worked out much more expensive than buying a stack of CDs and burning copies, but I wanted my CD to be relaxing in every way and having used burned CDs before I know how poor the quality becomes after constant use. I wanted my clients to be able to use the CD until they had taught themselves how to use the technique unaided.
Once I had the CD
Of course I had a backlog of clients and test subjects (from when I was designing the script), who all wanted a copy. To them the £15 price tag was nothing as they would have been happy to pay £45 for each follow-up session but these were designed for my clients so I figured any clients who in future enjoyed the relaxation session could then purchase the CD separately if they felt it would be of benefit to them. So far all my clients have wanted it so I figured eventually I’d sell all the copies I’d bought.
I posted about my having made the CD on my facebook profile as I had really enjoyed doing the recording session. A couple of people from my ‘friends’ list asked if they could buy a copy. I was a bit concerned at first as I felt they would only be getting half the package, after all the CD was designed for my clients who would have been told all about the impact relaxation can have on the human body, and how it can be used to combat stress and anxiety. My clients would have gained a really good understanding of what the point of the exercise was so that they could discover all the benefits for themselves and learned how to use affirmations and Future You techniques for use with future CD sessions, so I was concerned that the ones who just bought the CD would not benefit as much as my clients did... But I was wrong!
Truth is I didn’t expect the fantastic feedback I received from those who had never taken the relaxation session with me. It is because of the excellent feedback that I’ve had from these clients that I have put the CD up for sale on my website. So if any of you are like me, and just cannot switch your minds off or focus on one thought long enough to de-stress your entire body then this might well be the CD for you.
I do not advise those of you with strong ADHD qualities to purchase it as although you could well find it beneficial there are gaps in the guidance where I allow clients minds to wonder and that is usually problematic in itself for those with severe ADHD. I am working on a new CD, specifically designed for adults with ADHD but still have a few more test subjects to try it out on before I am ready to take it to the recording studio.
I posted about my having made the CD on my facebook profile as I had really enjoyed doing the recording session. A couple of people from my ‘friends’ list asked if they could buy a copy. I was a bit concerned at first as I felt they would only be getting half the package, after all the CD was designed for my clients who would have been told all about the impact relaxation can have on the human body, and how it can be used to combat stress and anxiety. My clients would have gained a really good understanding of what the point of the exercise was so that they could discover all the benefits for themselves and learned how to use affirmations and Future You techniques for use with future CD sessions, so I was concerned that the ones who just bought the CD would not benefit as much as my clients did... But I was wrong!
Truth is I didn’t expect the fantastic feedback I received from those who had never taken the relaxation session with me. It is because of the excellent feedback that I’ve had from these clients that I have put the CD up for sale on my website. So if any of you are like me, and just cannot switch your minds off or focus on one thought long enough to de-stress your entire body then this might well be the CD for you.
I do not advise those of you with strong ADHD qualities to purchase it as although you could well find it beneficial there are gaps in the guidance where I allow clients minds to wonder and that is usually problematic in itself for those with severe ADHD. I am working on a new CD, specifically designed for adults with ADHD but still have a few more test subjects to try it out on before I am ready to take it to the recording studio.
If you would like to know more about the CD
If you would like to purchase ‘Learn The Art Of Relaxation with Monique Craine’ click here to go to the shop on my website. You will see an audio bar which has about 2 minutes of the playback. This is here because I learned very quickly in hypnotherapy that the voice of the person doing the guidance has to be right for you. By clicking the audio link you will be able to hear my voice and assess whether you can understand my accent and whether I have the type of voice that you find acceptable to relax to.
To book an individual telephone or Skype relaxation coaching session to go with the CD contact me at [email protected]
To book an individual telephone or Skype relaxation coaching session to go with the CD contact me at [email protected]
Please Do Leave suggestions
Are there any Hypnotherapy CDs you would like to see designed specifically for the neuro-diverse community? Please leave comments to let me know if there are any topics you would like to have a hypnotherapy CD for.